Feeding off the people

Ironically, the biggest loser is the thousands of ordinary members of the tribe!

Ironically, the biggest loser turns out to be the thousands of ordinary members of the tribe!

The effects of feeding off millions of dollars provided by the downtrodden are showing by the ample size of the pork bellies being flaunted by the king and his massive entourage:

  • The Maori king: huffing and puffing, suffering from gout at 140 kg and very unhealthy.
  • The wife of the Maori king: big aint beautiful, a real whale of a woman that weighs in at 150 kg. The other day they shot a whale that got stuck on the beach. The poor thing.
  • Rangi Whakaruru: wider than he is tall, humongous and a stunning 170+ kg breaks the scales.
  • Rahui Papa: Papa’s countless days of boozing are the reason for his solid 130 kg. Noted for slipping out back for a quick fix when he gets the “shakes”.
  • Tom Moana: Tainui’s very own convicted fraudster does the fat guy shuffle with his 140 kg.
  • Tuku Morgan: the runt of the pack weighing in at 100 kg is the “skinny” guy but the flatulence is unbearable!

Living off the fat of the land, literally. A fellow named Ronald McDonald is not to blame for this debacle, although the apologists for the fatties would have you believe otherwise!

The good times won’t last forever and obesity is the biggest killer so the coronaries are bound to strike when least expected.

The phone number for Jenny Craig is 0800 502 302 or would the number of the undertaker be more appropriate?

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Voice
    Feb 19, 2013 @ 20:42:55

    Your wrong eraka.blog. That Rangi Whakaruru guy is at least 200kgs. As for the king, all his fat starts from the part of his anatomy where the brain should be. It is sickening that those men do what they do. How do they sleep at night?


  2. Lightbulb
    Apr 08, 2013 @ 07:26:49

    This blog is stupid… Insulting people like this, Do you, (whoever writing this blog is) think it’s cool to say these things? ughh, you people annoy me !


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